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I would be interested to hear from anyone who has consciously been aware over the last week of mirroring and matching new people they have met. Do you do it naturally or have you had to think about it when developing a new relationship with someone you have not met before? Have you been aware of the other person mimicking your actions?
This week I want to tell you about how inconsequential modifications to the words we use can influence how our clients and candidates perceive us and how likely it is that they do as we suggest. Studies have shown that people can be encouraged to collaborate with us more simply by how we phrase things. This is because people generally like us to behave consistently as most of the time consistency is seen as a being stable, rational, honest and a positive trait. For example, if you were to say to someone on the phone ‘Thank you, you are very helpful’, this implies the person is generally helpful as opposed to ‘you have been helpful’ which implies they have been helpful only that once. This implies they are always helpful and makes the person feel good about themself. This may make the person more receptive to you the next time you call.
You need to avoid using negative words or criticising people as these words will encourage this behaviour as the brain will wonder what people do with this label and actually encourage more of that behaviour. A better alternative might be to choose words that motivate. To help an unmotivated colleague or employee you might say ’you used to be a top biller, I know you can be as successful again if not better, you are just in a slump at the moment and you can get there again.’ You are invoking the principle of consistency to encourage the other person to follow suit.
This week think about how you end your conversations so you imply someone always uses that positive behaviour and notice if they are more welcoming of you the next time you talk to them.
Next week I will be talking about how we can influence people’s performance.
This blog has been inspired by reading Rob Yeung’s book ‘i is for Influence’.
To receive a FREE copy of ‘7 key tips to being a top recruiter’ 16 page eBooklet go to http://www.firebirdtraining.com/Pages/default.aspx
Tel: 01892 549651
Email: alison@firebirdtraining.co.uk
